One of the most striking conversations in the Megillah takes place between Mordechai and Esther in Perek Daled. Esther is informed that Mordechai has sat himself in the King's courtyard, and is sitting there mourning over the decree placed on the Jews. Concerned, Esther sends out clothes, which he would not accept. She then sends messengers to find out why, and learns about the decree on the Jews and is requested by Mordechai to go to the King and beg for mercy. Esther, understandably replies that she will be killed if she goes to the king unsummoned, and she has not been summoned for the past month.
Clearly, she does not want to fulfill this task. She is frightened for her life, and is scared that simple woman like herself must take the responsibility of the entire Jewish nation on her shoulders. She does not think the King will put out his golden scepter when he sees her.
Mordechai does not mince words when he responds. He does not use a soft, encouraging approach at all. (In today's society we would probably accuse him of being too harsh and not validating her feelings.) He says, "Do not imagine that you will be able to escape just because you are the Queen, if you remain silent and do not help the Jews, our salvation will come from another area, and you and your family will be destroyed. For it may be that it was for this very moment that you became Queen."
Its seems like Mordechai is saying, "Esther wake up, this is not the time for passivity and self doubting, you are the Queen, and you have no choice but to take the responsibility of your people. This is a time where you must take action, in your position, you don't have a right to say "I can't do it." (Slightly reminiscent of Shmuel's words to her ancestor Shaul, "Ha'lo rosh Shivtei Yisrael a'tah," "You are not just anyone, you are the King of Israel!") Leaders must have a low image of self efficacy.
It was this, and not encouragement and understanding that Esther needed to hear. She then took this mussar extremely well, and did not even waste a moment before completely changing her mindset. She set up a 3 day fast and began to prepare to go to the King, putting her personal fears on the back burner for the sake of Bnei Yisrael. "I will go to the King even if it is illegal, and if I die doing so, so I will die." The strength of character shown here by Esther is to great to be adequately put into words. She was literally going to walk to what she believed was her death, all because she was in the position of leadership, and a leader must sacrifice for the Klall.
In addition to the example Esther sets for us on receiving words of rebuke, there is an additional lesson in these pesukim pointed out by the Pachad Yitzchak, (Rav Hutner). Mordechai seems to be accusing Esther of only caring about saving herself and thinking she could escape even if the rest of Bnei Yisrael are killed. This is an extremely lowly accusation, as Esther did not say that she didn't care about Bnei Yisrael, she simply was scared to go to the King. How could Mordechai accuse Esther Hamalka such selfish thoughts, clearly there must be something deeper being said here.
In Judaism, we have the concept that a person who has a need, and davens for a friend who has the same need, he will be answered first. On a superficial level, this seems like some sort of magic formula that one can use to "trick" Hashem into giving them what they want. However, it is the exact opposite, as we will see upon examining why this works.
Tefilah from a broken heart, by definition is more powerful than regular tefilah. There is an extra element of depth to a person's tefilos when they are in desperate need of something. A person in need has an "ownership" of this very powerful tool of broken hearted tefilah. When such a person davens for a friend with this need instead of himself, he his donating that power to somebody else's cause. Only prayer for another done with a sincere desire to help one's friend and not oneself will work in helping the person who is praying on behalf of his friend. This is not an easy thing to do.
Mordechai was saying to Esther, "Do not think that you will be able to escape the decree because you are in the king's palace." He was informing her that she must realize that she is not just davening for Bnei Yisrael, but for herself, she too is included in this decree. He knew that despite this fact, her tefilos would be for Bnei Yisrael and not herself. He told Esther that she would not escape because he did not want to loose out on the ma'ailah of having a person with a need, and a broken heart pray altruisticly for someone else with the same need. Mordechai had no doubts that Esther's tefilos would be altruistic, so he told her that she too was in need of salvation to capitalize on the extra power of tefilah that a person who selflessly focus's on other people's needs brings before Hashem.
